Anonymous wrote on February 15, 2010

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How can I better myself and do these things?
Lately, I’ve been wasting my life and time playing games and surfing the web. Ever since the end of school, I’ve spent countless hours playing games on my 360 and looking at explicit material online.

There are a few things that I want to change about myself, but I guess I’m asking for support, reasons, help, and creative ideas so I can accomplish want I want to change.

One of the major things that I want to change is the way I look. I have a semi big nose, and I feel that most girls find it unattractive. (Not much I could do about that). I also have some remnants of acne. I’m using Proactive but it’s really not doing anything. Yes, it did slow it down, but it’s not gone. I want it gone by next year so I could work on getting a girl! Are there any other products that I could use that would really work. I also tried Clearasil in the past and it was actually, just a little better but it was a big mess to clean up. This is a major problem for me, and I want it gone! (It’s not too bad, but the stuff that’s there is annoying).

I also want to get a girlfriend, but there’s only two girls that I think I’d really like. One is my next door neighbor, she’s a year younger but she’s smart and very friendly, social, and a lot of other good adjectives. (She has a brother, and I’m good friends with him. I just think that it’d be weird that I’d be dating a girl that their brother is a good friend of mine she’s also in a few honors at catholic). Another option is someone that I’ve been going to school with for years. Pretty much my entire life. She’s sort of one of those "cool girls." She’s not scummy at all, she’s very intelligent (actually smarter than the other girl I mentioned and she’s in Honors courses in public). i would love to be by one of them, but i feel that i don’t stand a chance. especially the one that i’ve been going to school with for so many years. she has so many friends that are smart in in mostly honors too. i’d feel like a fool trying to talk to her, even though i found her on myspace. (I’m taking two honors courses too). i just get chocked up when it comes to this especially if my parents are by me. i like to do this kind of stuff in private and i don’t talk about it to anyone.

i also want to get a job and my driver’s permit. i sent out one application, but there not hiring until july sometime. i really need an income so i could buy things like an itouch and golf equipment and bowling things.

i could’ve had my driver’s license by now! i was just too goddamn lazy to study. i plan on going out next month, but i just don’t feel like studying for it. fellow teenagers say that i should just go, but adults say that i need to study, it’s not that easy. (yeah, it’s obvious that i’m 16).

i also want to stay away from online sex. all it is is an exchange of fluids. yeah it’s disgusting to say, but it’s the honest to god truth. go ahead, report me! it’s only the truth. i know it’s wrong to look at it and it just ruins the real thing. i need to stop so maybe i can stand a chance at one of them.

the final thing is guitar and piano. my parents could help me out with them both. my mom knows both and my dad plays guitar. they even had a band when they were my age! you know what i play? nothing. i tried to get into them, but i just stop. if i knew how to play them, i’d probably be able to get girls no problem. but i don’t know a thing. once again, laziness is the problem!

well, like i said somewhere far above, i need support, help, reasons, and a creative way to get them done.

thanks for all of your help! i really appriciate it.

i am zoe! wrote on February 15, 2010

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trust me, i have the same problem (with video games tv and computer) and the best i can tell you is put down the control and turn off the computer and just do what you want to do. make a list of goals you have for the summer (u pretty much just did that) and the steps u need to take to reach each girl.

if what you’re using for acne isn’t working, then look up something new. apply to more jobs. finding a job is getting harder and harder and applying to one job isnt smart. apply to at least 4-6. study for you’re permit. it’s not that hard. read the manual for like 20-30 minutes a day for a week. it’s pretty much just common sense. just pick up a guitar or sit down by the piano and start learning how to play. if you’re socially awkward then work on socializing a little more over the summer. read books on how to socially develop and practice. about the online sex, wow well, i dunno. avoid talking to people who might tempt you to do it. when you want to do it get offline. i guess as long as ur not married or dating someone its ok to do it once in a while, like once every couple of months, but its really weird and not healthy.

about your nose, you can do anything about it. but dont worry, girls dont worry about noses as much as u think. i have a lot of guy friends with large noses and they have great girlfriends. girls focus alot on personality. as long as you’re at least somewhat decent looking dont worry. if you want to get the girl you like, just be confident and ask her to hang out. be yourself and be very friendly. show her that you’re interested. if things go smoothly you can eventually ask her to go out with u.

honestly, if you’re lazy, the key is to just DO it. force yourself. the hardest part is starting. once you force yourself to do the things on your list and you’re regularly doing it for like a week or 2, it’ll just happen naturally. i’m going to college now and i’ve had your problem for years. i never forced myself and now im full of regret. now i want to do years worth of things in the next 2 months before i start college.

good luck
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personal experience

null n wrote on February 15, 2010

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Wow! You sound like a great guy. It’s great to see such a well thought out, introspective post. So you’re obviously very intelligent and will get along well with women because you think about the things that they’d want you to think about. Ever pay attention to the things women complain about with men?

Your nose, it’s probably more unattractive to you than anyone else. Human nature to be hard on ourselves. I’ve seen some super pretty girls with guys who are heavy, with acne, and who have really big noses-not semi big.

So I guess the thing is, it’s more about clicking with a girl than anything else. Get together more with the two girls you’re interested in and you’ll get an idea of how they feel about you. Take it slow. Just get to be even closer friends with them. Remember, just from this one post you sound like a great guy, and I don’t even know you. So focus on your good qualities. That’s how you build up confidence. Think to yourself, "Hey! I’m in honors classes" or "I’m a great gamer"…think of all those things that are good about you, then pat yourself on the back.

Pat yourself on the back everyday for something you did right, or something you’re good at. It’ll help your confidence.

July is a few weeks away, you could use this time to research how to do well in interviews, and study at least a little for your permit. I didnt study but like 15 minutes and it was while I was in line at the DMV! But just pick up the important safety pointers and you’ll do fine.

Online sex…doesnt benefit anyone…and you’re honest (another great quality) So you kill two birds with one stone…The gaming and the online sex will be stopped if you get up and get out with those girls. Go to see a movie with her and a group of friends so that it’s not all weird. (start doing things in a group, maybe that’ll help.) The gaming and online sex will also be slowed down if you start researching how to interview for a job and also reading up a bit on the important points so that you can get your permit.

finally, since your parents are right there, that could be another thing that gets you up from the computer…ask them to help you.

So, don’t even think about it, just get up…go on, get your butt up and do something..don’t waste anymore time…you’ll thank yourself ina month or two when you’re driving your girl to a movie or playing a tiny chord you just learned. GET UP!
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